Tag Archive: thoughts

Expired Feelings


Dim reflection.

Photo probably doesn’t have any real meaning. I just liked it. It doesn’t have the same feel as in person, I guess I needed a larger angle.

Though I guess if you look deep enough into anything, there are always potential hidden meanings.

So if you’re that kind of person, feel free to ponder.

Actually, think about it a bit more than you usually would. For me. Because even if the story always has hidden beauty to it, reality works differently. So give it an extra second or two. To make up for reality’s lack of it.

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A Long Road Ahead

Tomorrow’s the first day of school.

Kind of.

It’s ‘Imagine Day’. Basically a tour around campus, not really school time. It won’t be until Wednesday that the true grind starts to come back. Back to the academic focused lifestyle.

However I feel much like an eighth grader entering their new secondary school. Mainly because of UBC actually being a new school for me.

I guess I feel a little excited and nervous. Maybe it’s a good thing, maybe it’s a bad thing.

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Another Day, Another Time

I just want to start off by saying that I really don’t like the new default WordPress admin page (the dashboard).

Just having to press that extra button to toggle back into ‘Classic View’, or whatever they call it, just bothers me.

Why can’t they just save this preference for me?

And why isn’t there a button to toggle back to the new one (there probably is one, but it’s not as easy to find…)? How else am I suppose to get these quotes correct?!

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University of God Knows Where

Right now I’m in Taiwan, but I’m tired and haven’t sorted out some thoughts regarding anything. Though when did I ever start a blog with a plan?

But anyways.

Some old(er) news: I’ve been accepted into Beedie.

Honestly I don’t know what I would really do with myself if I didn’t get accepted. I had to rush and change my schedule for the Fall term in order to retake a course (misguided me didn’t even realize that if I didn’t retake something, my core GPA would not change). Then because I struggled with the embarrassment of having to retake a course (in hindsight not that much of a problem), I had just said I was taking 4 courses. I probably blew that cover when I was complaining about exams though. The fact that I had 3 exams in 28 hours and then 2 more later kind of revealed I had more than just 4 courses. I don’t think anyone gave a single shit. Which is probably normal, it’s just me that’s abnormal.

Anyways. I’m in, and I had to swap courses again in order to accept it (apparently they make all Beedie students take some weird team-working course). I’m not retaking anything this time, so I won’t be trying to be dumb with that information again, but instead I just have 6 courses.

I’m taking Business 207, which is essential Intermediate Microeconomics (Econ201), which I literally just finished, as the 6th course. I don’t get credits for this course, because Econ201 & Bus207 are related courses and requirements that need one can be replaced with the other course. Also because Econ201 gives more in the first place.

So why am I doing something so irrational and dumb?

Because of UBC.

UBC doesn’t consider Econ201 and Bus207 to be courses with transferable credits between them, so in order to apply for third year Sauder transfer, I’m going to have to face the terror that is a 6th course. I already have trouble getting accustomed to cramming 5 courses in under a week, where am I going to find enough Christmas miracles (WHEN IT’S NOT EVEN CHRISTMAS) to let me do 6? And it’s not even like some of these courses are unimportant (okay some of them are, but the unimportant ones are the GPA boosters…),  there’s no real hierarchy of courses like last term.

Why am I even transferring to UBC?

Who the fuck really knows.

Okay, I get it, I know.

And that’s true.

Kind of.

After one and a half years on the mountain, I still can’t say I really enjoy it up there.

Feels lonely, feels far, and feels isolated.

The first point is because I really haven’t tried to make too many new friends, or even good new friends. Nor did I join any clubs. Though I really don’t like how most clubs start at like 5pm on a day where I don’t have class after 3. Nor do I like how they’ll finish at like 7 and I’ll get home at 9. Then have to suffer through the badgering of questions from my parents (okay, just my mom) about this 9pm arrival and then start procrastinating on schoolwork.

Though that’s still a huge fucking excuse.

How? Reason 2.

How it’s far to transit to.

One and a half hours of transit isn’t too bad anymore (considering how I’m asleep for 80% of the trip). But that’s about 3 hours of my day just going to school. That is a huge waste of time. It’s really hard to wake up at 5:45 in the morning in order to make it for the sole one hour tutorial with participation marks that day. And before you ask, yes, I’ve had that. 3 hours of transit for a 50 minute TUTORIAL that is somehow worth 10% of my final mark based on whether I attempt some homework questions in class does not bode well for my motivation to succeed in that class, let alone the tutorial.

So transferring to UBC will reduce that time at all?


Still one and a half hours there. Literally no change in transit times. It probably becomes harder to sleep on the bus while going to UBC instead of SFU because of the continuous bus transfers I would have to make in the first 30 minutes. Honestly, I’d probably miss classes because I would sleep pass one of my stops and waste time.

So complaint 3, isolation.

UBC sure as hell isn’t isolated. For starters, it’s not on a mountain.

There’s also non-students there. There are stores there. There’s even more than one fucking bus out of the damn place (to be fair SFU has like 4, though I only use 1).

Basically it’s connected to facilities that aren’t just school-related. And that is a heavy, heavy breathe of fresh air.

If you look at my 3 complaints, you’ll pretty much realize only the last one is a valid one.

#1 – I’m to blame really.

#2 – This isn’t even a relevant issue when comparing the two.

#3 – The mountain is terrible. Though Surrey campus is a significantly more vibrant location.

So why do I actually want to transfer? #3 isn’t even that large of a problem considering I probably am not going to go to some pub or window shop after class.

It’s probably because I’m just lazy. It’s much easier to work with people you already know than those you don’t. There’s already a large circle of friends at UBC, so there’s much less work needed there.

The other reason is probably because I feel like I have something to prove to myself. Being rejected twice isn’t a little bug bite that heals even if you don’t treat it. I already had some confidence issues at the start of Fall 2014 & my 3rd application to Beedie. Apparently I was able to surmount that. Part of me feels brainwashed into thinking SFU is a sub-par school compared to UBC, which keeps making me want to transfer. Then again, there’s also this miniscule part of me that wants to apply to Sauder, get accepted, than decline that shit for some minor ego boost.

I’m sure its known my ego isn’t high enough to do that in the first place.

Maybe I have some additional reasons to get into UBC (I do), but I don’t think they’re as important as these. Or I just don’t want to reveal them.

They’re my secret.

A commodity I rarely have nowadays.

Changing Change

The Tool that is Language.

That was the title of an English piece I wrote over the weekend.

I had that English class today.

We did small group discussions about the piece we wrote : “My life as a language user”.

An introduction assignment.

Introduces ourselves to some people and the professor, with a slight twist of good ‘ol English class.

So yeah. Plain old stuff.

Had a group of 3.

A girl whose name I cannot even begin to try to spell went first.

More like she was pressured to go by our 3rd member –  a 58 year old Rhwanda woman.

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