Tag Archive: sfu


It’s all brand new

IMG_1483

Welcome to 2016.

I didn’t say that in my last post, well actually I didn’t say anything in my last post, so I guess that is a moot point.

So… yeah.

Haven’t blogged in a while, but there’s not much to say there. Or at least, not much I want to say about it.

Every time I think about talking about my blog delays, I just get reminded of this xkcd comic.

Well, I thought this would be a good time for another one of those new years resolution blogs.

But I was going to make it different, by first checking up on my 2015 resolutions. So I went into my post history, and found the post I made on January 1st.

Oh.

Well then I’ll go to 2014’s resolutions!

Oh. There isn’t any.

2013?

Nope.

W E L L T H E N.

Continue reading

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I finally thought I had gotten away from SFU’s Business 202 course about teamwork, communication, character development, personal strengths, and group inclusion.

And I was right.

Commerce 202 (UBC’s course) is a different beast.

A beast focused on resumes, cover letters, interviews, and general job seeking advice.

In fact the only real similarity between the two courses is the course code of ‘202’.

SFU’s is a much more group-oriented course that betters yourself through practicing real world skills, while UBC’s is a self-centered course to better your own chances through experience, and not development.

But what brings me to this blog tonight is there similarity – Personal Profiling.

God.

I.

Hate.

These.

So.

Much. Continue reading

Hidden Hole

I am tired.

I really am.

Not like done-with-your-shit kind of tired, but physically tired.

I slept maybe 34 hours last week. If you just take a average that’s less than 5 hours a day. Then you hear I slept 10 hours on Sunday. 24/6 = 4 hours average over the other days.

Today I slept 4 too.

Why?

Because I’ve been studying.

No, it’s not what you’re thinking of. I haven’t been studying 12 hours a day, or 8pm to 4am.

I’ve been studying from 12am-4am.

Why am I studying so late?

Because I need to study before a midterm.

Why not earlier?

That’s what I’ve been asking myself. I think it has a lot to do with how unmotivated I am these days. This entire term hasn’t seen me be motivated. There’s not much large assignments, and it’s mainly group projects. Perfect things to slack off on (sorry team). Right now I just don’t feel like there is a reason for me to try hard.

Sure, I can get a job.

Sure, I can get a high GPA.

Sure, I can transfer and do god know’s what.

Sure, my parents will be happy.

But those aren’t things that are motivating me right now.

I think of a job, and all I can think is ‘who cares’. I’m basically working a job right now on Friday’s at the office, and it’s nothing exciting.

A high GPA could be nice, but honestly I have no use for it. I am in the faculty I want to be, and 3rd year courses average mark is a B now. I might not be at the school I want to be, or able to have impressive grades, but right now they don’t mean much.

I could transfer to UBC. Or McGill. Or god knows where else with a high(er) GPA. But what’s the point? I’m satisfied here. UBC might be nice, with more people I know, but in reality there’s little to no difference. Going anywhere else would cost more, and wouldn’t be worth it.

My parents would be happier if I was at a more well-known school. That’s undeniable. They would be more proud of me going to UPenn than they would be of me achieving 4.33 GPA at SFU. But when they asked me why it mattered to transfer to UBC, and that SFU is a very good school and that I shouldn’t transfer, it didn’t seem to be something they have on their mind.

So right now, I have no reason to do anything.

I can abide the rules and just be an average student.

Rules prevent disaster, but promote mediocrity.

But when that doesn’t matter to you, the phrase doesn’t work.

I’m satisfied where I am.

But there’s that quote.

Show me a satisfied man, and I’ll show you a failure.

I don’t know what to say to that.

I know what it means.

I know the benefits.

I understand that it’s better that where I am now.

But right now, I’m satisfied.

Satisfied and tired.

Two things that when mixed together creates mediocrity.

Content with the present, and unwilling to move.

Exactly how I am right now.

image

Until I took off my jacket.

Now there’s a new feeling.

Satisfied, tired and depressed.

On second thought, maybe it wasn’t a new feeling.

Just a re-surfaced old one.

Enjoyment : “none” ;

Today hasn’t been fun.

I slept late last night trying to study/prepare my cheat sheet for my programming midterm the next day.

I was stressed about it. Regardless about all the people telling me how easy CMPT 165 (HTML, CSS and a bit of Python) is, and how the average for the course is an A-, it was still stressful.

For starters, it was an online course. Everything was self driven learning. The only aid I’ve ever gotten from the school was the ‘guide’ (aka: textbook). There’s weekly lab assignments with occasional real assignments, but all of it is self conducted. There is no instructor reading over instructions, clarifying details or going over the process. Everything was on me.

Just that alone was pressure. Can I keep up a schedule without the pressure of attending mandatory classes? Previously I’ve done quite poorly on online courses, where I would lose motivation either a few days in, or half way through. Just having to do this was stressing.

But to walk into a room and having the first examination in a self-driven course was not a test of knowledge, but a test of self. It was a test to determine how well I’ve been motivating myself to learn, to improve, to continue with the course – all by myself.

That was scary.

Also the expectation that I should be getting close to perfect, if not perfect doesn’t lessen the load.

Then the exam is at 7pm. On a day I get off of class at 1:20pm. 5 hours away. 5 hours to do nothing at school.

The day before two group projects are due, both of which are separate sources of discomfort.

The day before a large programming assignment is due (I’m not even 20% complete).

The week before 2 more much harder midterms. One seriously important, and one just important.

During the start of the last month for my IBE project, where we have to sell a self-designed product.

In which we still haven’t even confirmed the product we will be making. 2 weeks before the commercial for the product is to be completed. 3 weeks from the selling day.

There was quite a bit of stress.

Some of my friends don’t help either.

Especially one of them.

I’m not sure how I can explain their behaviour, as I’ve only recently (some hours ago) began to think of it, but it isn’t very helpful.

Most of the time when people complain or are under stress, they’re looking for help. When people want to discuss/debate a topic, they want it to be peaceful and removed from emotions. When people want to talk about serious problems they are facing, they want to hear advice from concerned parties.

Basically, empathy is what people seek.

He only gives sympathy.

No, the say only is an exaggeration. He does do it on occasion. Although it is only about minor, minor things. But that doesn’t mean he always does it for minor things (e.g: where are you going to sit from the 3 chairs). Most of the time, small matters lack that bother him.

[Annoyed] Why does it matter? Why do are you thinking so much about it?

Even medium difficulty ones do too.

[Annoyed] It’s hard to choose. Why are you asking me?! I don’t know everything!

And especially hard ones.

[Annoyed] It’s so hard! I don’t understand. Why are you asking me? It’s not something I can do. Ugh stop asking me.

Yeah.

Though to be fair, they’re just a small, small part of my stress today.

I finished my mid-term. I open my phone to see

Kevin, go Google it.

2 hours ago.

Obviously I have to reply, as this is my group project that I am a part of. What do they want me to search up? What is going on?

No response.

Ok.

???? I’m very confused.

I decide to just go home and do some readings on the bus. Maybe they’ll explain more when I get home.

I get home.

OMG KEVIN THERE U ARE WE WERE LOOKING FOR U

Sorry guys, I had a midterm until an hour and a half ago, I just got home (10pm).

WE MISSED U OMG

If it wasn’t so sarcastic, this might have been sweet.

Obviously they’re upset that I haven’t been doing my share of work. I know I haven’t been doing my share of work, and I haven’t been actively trying to find out what they wanted me to do. In fact, after the first day, I had complete disregarded the group work. Of course, I’m in the wrong here, there are no excuses for that, but the whole thing about this project has just been such a bother. It made me incredibly frustrated and upset that I quickly gave up and threw it aside. I was done with it. No more. I’ll take my deductions, just get me away from here.

It started a week ago on Tuesday night.

One of the members was trying to gather everyone together in order to prepare to start working. Everything was fine. She used e-mail, I replied and gave my Facebook link (this was the fatal error, trying to do work using Facebook) so I could be invited to the group conversation. We were going to meet up after class tomorrow to discuss it further.

Great. Everything is going well.

Skip over to 5 minutes before class starts, some of the members weren’t going to come to class (normal occurrence as people dislike this class [BUS202 set up your game]), but we were still going to have our meeting. Cool.

An hour and a half in, it was break time. I spent the 10-15 minute break with my one group member still remaining (the other three were studying for their mid-terms or just skipping because it was boring) discussing issues with our product and our lack of progression towards the end goal. Apparently during this time the rest of them, using Facebook Messenger (which frankly, I don’t check in class, or at all), decided to hold the meeting during break. Unaware of what had happened, I ended class to tried to find my group. Couldn’t find them (partial due to only meeting them once for 3 minutes 2 months ago) so I went to Facebook Messenger to find out.

Scrolled up about 30 or so messages, no indication of the meeting being canceled. So I sent a message asking where everyone was.

We’re all done here. I’ll send you the information later.

Wow. So fast. What happened? It’s only been 3 minutes since class ended. Oh well, I guess it wasn’t too important.

Later do I find out that about 60 messages ago, they decided to change the meeting to during break.

We arrange to start completing the e-mail that evening at 8pm. All eight of us on one Google Doc, trying to work things out (any group work over 5 on a Google Docs without all being on a voice-communication software is pretty horrendous). No one had the same idea. No one wanted to delete someone else’s work, and no one would respond to suggestions. After 3 hours of this, and having 3-4 different versions of the same e-mail, all saying the same thing and none saying the same words. I had put a few suggestions and questions out to the group in the 3 hours we had been working. Maybe 5 or 6 questions, a miniscule amount compared to 2 or 3 people in the group asking 2 questions a minute. Obviously, none of my questions were answered, and single digit numbers of theirs were answered.

I got turned off from this project real fast.

Disorganized working. No leading figure. No structure of working. No clarified tasks. No communication. No attempts to include others. No attempts at discussion. Nothing.

I left that Google Docs at around 11:15 pm and went to work on my own things. At 1:30 am, I notice them still working on the e-mail, now with maybe 2k words worth of e-mails, while only needing maybe 150. Nice. I’m out of here.

The next day I started to feel really bad about not doing any work. I send a message or two out asking what other things we can finish before the weekend. I didn’t get a response to my question, but there were indeed responses. About 500 of them. In around 15 minutes. None of which concerning me, apparently. Once again, I was taken aback, turned off, and did not want any part of this discussion. 500 messages of nothing. It took me longer to scroll through and read them all then it did for them to all appear.

I stopped actively checking that conversation. Maybe two to three times a day. Every time I open it, there would be at least 300 messages there to scroll through. I stopped reading them. I stopped caring. I wasn’t interested in a group where no one wanted to respond to a question, and all they did was want to chat with each other.

They tried to promote teamwork.

‘Lets all work on the e-mail together.’ ‘Lets all work on the biography together.’

No. That doesn’t work.

Every other successful group before mine (we were the last to present) delegated tasks to each person. Person A would write the e-mail, B would edit. C would write the biography, and D would edit. E would conduct the presentation, F would greet the guest, G would ask questions and H would summarize the presentation and thank them. Instead, we had to have all 8 of us do the e-mail. Then 5 of us on the biography (Me and two others didn’t participate). For me, all the group work was becoming increasingly and needlessly difficult, time consuming, inefficient, and not worth the effort.

So I stopped giving it effort.

My issue of course, but it wasn’t something I was keen on working with.

It’s ironic, the class where we are all supposed to learn about teamwork and team dynamic, I experienced the worst teamwork and team dynamic. The second time I’ve ever abandoned group work completely. I even felt guilty too. Guilt wasn’t enough to make me go back. That’s the real shocker here.

Back to current time, the group was (or at least select individuals were not pleased) by my lack of attendance in the meeting that was scheduled for 7pm. Or was it 8pm. Or was it 6pm. I tried to read some of the messages when they were setting it up, and the time wasn’t selected for about 150 messages, so instead of paying attention to things I couldn’t attend, I went back to studying for my midterm in 2 hours.

Of course, I felt a message saying I was going to be writing a mid-term at 7pm, and wouldn’t be home until around 10pm.

Of course, no one seemed to notice.

So when I did return at 10 pm, no one seemed pleased at my apparently lack of care for the group meeting schedules.

Of course I would disregard your group meeting schedules if you disregard my ability to make meetings (I was unable to attend a Saturday meeting because I was working on another group project, but that doesn’t stop them from arranging the time to be set during it). I ended up just picking up one of the empty speaking roles. I’ll be presenting a biography tomorrow afternoon. Great.

The final large stress accumulator so far was the other group project I had been working on – IBE.

This gosh darn product creation and agreement process is so poor. Before the Saturday meeting, I hadn’t seen my all of my group together for maybe 3 weeks. Every class someone would ditch. Never can get discussion in with everyone. It was frustrating. Even the Saturday meeting was frustrating. We were supposed to meet up at 1:30, but like all meetings, not everyone arrived until much, much later. At 2:00pm, we were missing the last person, who was always going to arrive at 2:30. We spent almost 2 hours not doing anything.

Suggestions? Ideas? What can we do?

I don’t know.

2 hours.

Of that.

The last member who had only suffered through an hour of this, became outwardly upset. Coherent sentences like ‘ARGH’ and ‘UWAHHH’ and ‘FUSHHHHH’ littered the one woman conversation.

When we finally started to create ideas, it somehow became all up to me to create the damn thing. Apparently no one can draw (myself included). But from the ones who cannot draw, I was the one who was closest. I was also the one most willing to do work to get something done. At around 4:45, we have the genius idea to go print things out instead of drawing them to save time. 2 of them leave to go print out images instead of drawing them, and the other 2 take a rest. After having to draw lightbulbs for close to 2 hours, I was just going to have fun drawing out the rest of the work I was supposed to do. Just for fun (and to kill boredom). Some technically difficulties arose, like an inability to walk less than a km, desire to walk the opposite direction for Starbucks, and delay of 10 minutes in line, the printed images arrived at 5:30, almost an hour since the journey started. I had been done my panel for about 15 minutes, and if the rest of my team were working on theirs the entire time, they would have been completed too. Instead, we waste an hour of time, and have to part ways to work on it another time.

That time was today.

Right after class.

During the 5:30 hour gap.

Before my midterm.

When I should be studying.

Cute.

However, it’s kind of fun talking and interacting with them. It’s not fun being the main person doing the artistic work (good lord how it turned out to be like this) while the others looked at the phones. It’s also not fun when you’re the only person who has a looming deadline in a few hours, and instead of working towards that one, you’re working by yourself on the one with a later due date (like my programming assignment that’s due tomorrow that I’m not doing to write this).

That was stressful.

Pressure from these 3 things were destroying any will I could muster to enjoy the rest of the day.

I still had to read 50 pages of material and answer a quiz in which I got 7/10 on. 2 of which weren’t even included in the readings, but were apparently tested anyways. Not amused.

Then came home to my mom denying that she had ever compared me to another child, either my friend or their friend’s child, and asked why couldn’t I be as good as them.

My mom then went over and lectured me about how I could only apply for the best companies, and that I should be ashamed I haven’t gotten a job with them yet.

My mood was so negative, not even an absolute sign could make it positive.

It’s so bad I had to resort to math jokes. Pity jokes.

I wasn’t happy to enter a Facebook conversation about how I was MIA again (it had only been 10 minutes since I responded to anything, even though I’ve been reading it, and Facebook even says that in the corner of the messanger client). I wasn’t happy to get told my thinking was ‘retarded’ because I questioned why certain instructions were in place. I wasn’t happy to find my quiz mark to be below average when the questions didn’t pertain to the reading content.

I wasn’t happy.

I wasn’t happy.

I wasn’t happy.

I wasn’t happy on Wednesday when my mom told me about our relatives (was going to be a post that came before this, but things happened, or didn’t happen).

I wasn’t happy to see my bus take 25 minutes to arrive even though I was 15 minutes earlier on my 5 minute early school schedule and then to arrive late.

I wasn’t happy to see another individual not know what was going on with the group project of 8 people and then be told they did a good job on the work they didn’t do.

I wasn’t happy so much this last week, that I might as well continue to not be happy tomorrow because that is what is going to happen anyways.

A project not started, lines not learned, and business attire being worn.

 

I am simple just not happy this week.

And for all the many weeks that lie in store.

image

Alishan in Taiwan

Yesterday I woke up at 6 am. Yes, a Saturday.

Because I had a ‘Personal and Team Development’ summit up in the mountains.

And I even got there early.

Lets just saying knowing literally no body there wasn’t exactly the most fun I’ve ever had. 160+ students in the foyer of West Mall.

Add in the fact that this was heavily based around one of those ‘personality type tests’, where our results designated ourselves as colours.

Labels.

Great.

Continue reading

A Week Goes By

Today’s a Thursday.

Last week Thursday, I promised myself I’d try to see if the person I saw was indeed Lily.

But before that, today I woke up late.

8:15 am.

I have class at 9:30 am.

‘That’s over an hour!’

It is.

But it isn’t enough.

One and a half hours of transit to get to school.

Fuck it. I’ll just end up skipping tutorial today. It was about Co-op anyways, I’ve already applied.

So I went and showered.

Still showered fast, because I still didn’t like being late/skipping.

Got dressed and walked out.

Isn’t your class at 9:30?

Yes

So I got a ride.

Still late. By 10 minutes. 5 of it came from me being unable to find the damn room. Which building doesn’t list where room numbers are, until it’s right beside you?

It was all about Co-op. I’m already ‘Seeking’ for Co-op. I got my e-mail this morning. Nothing of use to me.

Split into groups of 4-5! We split into a group of 3.

Brainstorm questions.

How do you apply?

I knew this one. I mean, I just handed in my intake package and did my assessment yesterday. I answered his question.

He kept asking me more questions. I’m not the presenter here! Oh well, they were all easy questions. And at least this way I get to know someone a bit more.

His name was Charles. Tutorial ended.

Hour break before Archeology, followed by Economics.

Didn’t eat anything in the morning, so I went to White Spot looking for some food.

Lunch isn’t started to be served until 11. It was 10:30 right now, and I was not going to wait 30 minutes. Late breakfast it is.

Archeology was more of the same. Neanderthals. Homo Florensensis (sp), and other anatomically similar hominids. Boring. Oh well, this gives me Breadth credits, I have to do it. And crucially, this time it won’t be like Linguistics was last term, where my mark was so bad I needed 90% to pass the course.

During Economics, I couldn’t help but think about if I needed this course or not. I don’t need it for Beedie requirements. I don’t need it for Economics Major requirements. I don’t need it for joint major (what is the difference between Joint & Double major anyways). It isn’t a prerequisite for any courses. It didn’t give me the Breadth subject I need. But it does give me 3 credits.

The 3 credits that would push my credit total above 60 to take 3rd year courses (that aren’t in my major).

Though that doesn’t matter because I have so many upper level Business courses I could take next term, that my credit total doesn’t even matter.

So why am I taking it? It doesn’t even transfer to UBC well!

Literally zero reason.

Still haven’t dropped it.

Going to talk to an adviser about it tomorrow. If there aren’t any benefits, I’m going to drop it.

It’s rare that I make these kind of decisions. I don’t particularly feel strongly about much when it comes to academics. Do I apply for UBC or stay at SFU? Do I do Business or just stay in Economics? What elective do I want to take? In the midst of these questions, ‘I am going to drop this course’ has a largely different feel to it. It feels strange to make a decision in my life. Something I don’t actually normally do. I just follow what I’m told. Do what I’m told. Behave how I’m told.

It’s like I have no personal emotions, ambitions or desires (I do, at least I think I do).

So I left class halfway.

Lets take a break for 5 minutes. That’s not enough time for coffee, ok?

Don’t worry professor, I’m not getting coffee.

Went to the Beedie advising office since they close later than Economics (3pm vs 2pm). They forgot about my position in the line, but I still got to see an adviser so I guess that’s okay.

Time?

2:54 pm.

Damn it.

I forgot.

I hurried (read: fast walked) towards the bus loop.

Maybe she’s late. Maybe the 135 didn’t come. Maybe she had a class and gets off now.

Nope.

Nothing.

I knew I wouldn’t get that chance again. I knew that a week ago.

You can give chances, but you can’t have them take it. They need to do it themselves.

That week, I was given a chance. A slight reminder of last spring’s chance.

A disappointing reminder that nothing has changed.

At least not here.

Today was 202 again.

Walked into class. The seat I had last week was gone. Ugh. No where on the sides near the front. Sigh.

Gotta go in the middle.

There’s these two guys behind me. Talking. A lot.

I think it was just because I was annoyed from being at school for so long doing nothing.

They called out to some other guy, I didn’t hear his name. He sat down in front of them.

Beside me.

He was the worse out of the 3.

Didn’t care for class: ‘God this is so much bullshit.’

Loud: ‘Shut up you fucker!’

Not a jerk: ‘Oh hey, sorry about that.’

Didn’t like him.

 

Today we were getting placed into 2 groups. One for IBE (Interactive Business Experience) and one for LB (Living Book). They like to call IBE ‘IB’. Really confused me there.

Like actually. For a second I thought I was back in IB. Not something I was expecting.

This entire time, I’ve been scanning the class for Sarah. I don’t really know why. Maybe it’s because she’s literally the only person I know in the class so far? Or that I found out (shouldn’t really be a surprise though) that she’s not a scary, robotic person and instead of avoiding her I rather just talk to her.

Well I did find her, sitting on the right side of the room, near the front. Opposite of where I wanted to sit, the left side of the room, near the front. Same row.

She was looking around. Maybe looking for someone? Maybe me? I don’t know. I’d rather not think about that.

Though I will admit, it would have been flatter if it was, even if it just out of curiosity.

Anyways.

IBE groups are 4-5 people.

LB are apparently 6-10 people (mine turned out to be 8).

There’s about 85 students in the class.

One I didn’t want to be paired up with.

One I do want to be paired up with.

I’ll be in groups with up to 13 people.

Assuming everyone has equal chance to be in my group… (it was arranged by some survey so it’s unlikely)

I can’t do math properly right now, so I’m just gonna say it’s like 10% chance that I’ll get grouped with any specific person.

10% chance for the guy I don’t want.

10% chance for the girl I want.

Before hand, I already knew I was probably going to end up in a group with the guy. That’s just how the world works.

First came the IBE group.

Kevin… Hang… Wesley (his Chinese name was registered, but I don’t remember it)… Radha… Lin…

No Sarah.

No annoying guy.

That’s fine.

Now for LB groups.

Each IBE group sent a person to one of the 5 groups.

I wanted Accounting, but no one wanted to do MIS (Managing Information Systems [basically technology]) so I went for that instead.

Oh hey, it’s Sarah.

Oh hey, it’s that guy (his name is Benny, I saw from the name tags).

We had to split into two groups.

16 people, made sense to just do 8 and 8.

8 people on the right, and 8 people on the left.

Looks like I ended getting both of them.

Someone walked from the right to the left.

Can I be on this side, please?

What the hell do you think you’re doing.

Benny’s friend.

I guess I’ll just go over here then…

Sarah went to the other group.

 

As if I didn’t see this coming. 10% chance is basically 100% anyways. Pretty standard for Vancouver weather reports.

‘Unlikely to rain tomorrow.’ – Rains.

‘It’s going to be a sunny day tomorrow!’ – Rain

‘75% chance for rain the next few days.’ – Sun

‘The weekends looks to be sunny.’ – Cloudy and rain.

Nothing new.

Group projects are basically 45% of this course’s mark.

IBE is 30%, and LB is 15%.

Sarah would make a group function.

It doesn’t look like anyone in this group would make a group function.

Oh well.

Another day, another course, another ride.

Thinking with Feeling

Today was the first Monday schedule for the new term.

My Monday’s are 207 (business version of Econ 201 that I took last term) and BUS 303, morals and ethics in business.

Hold it, I know what you’re thinking:

[Trying to hold back laughter] Ethics? In business? Don’t you guys do whatever it takes for the ca$h dollar?

Yes, yes, yes. General opinion of business faculty is that it is all about that bass $$$. Yes, it kind of is, and yes, a lot of professors don’t help that image with what they say (seriously, 50% of the time the professor will say something like “the goal is to become filthy rich” as an introduction. No, it’s not amusing), but no, it is not all about money. I mean if it was all about money, that 7/11 down the road from you might as well just hire some thugs to ruin the family-run convenience store a block down. Yes, a lot of huge companies do some illegal stuff like Enron and Toyota’s faulty brakes, but that’s exactly what they’re trying to prevent with things like this.

And while I’m at it, the generalization of Arts students becoming homeless, Math students making no money, Psychology students asking you therapist questions and Economics students (technically arts students) being business dropouts, are not all true. Of course there is some degree of truth to it, like many Art students not doing what they graduated with in their future, and Math students not creating applications for their findings, but it does not mean every of them become that way! Also, when someone tells you they’re an Arts student, the first sentence that comes out from your mouth should not be ‘so you want to be homeless’? Goes for all the other disciplines too.

So back to 303, ethics.

Honestly it just felt like a TOK class again.

Right vs Right.

Values. Ranking them. Identifying where you used them.

Us vs Me.

That kind of stuff.

Without the terminology.

Something I really noticed though was how much business likes to do ‘reflections’.

Reflection – a statement that requires you to step back from your perspective and recognize how it exhibits a pattern in your behavior. Then making sense of it and learning from your thoughts and experiences.

Basically they’re telling me to write blogs for marks.

Again.

We had an activity where we had to write down 10 values we hold on a piece of paper. The thing is, there was a PowerPoint with many different values listed in the front. We were to notice when we had to look up to complete our list of values.

It was easy. I mean when I spend good parts of my days thinking about possible ideas to write with and the values they demonstrate all so that I can expand it on a post here, I don’t need help trying to list 10. Heck, I listed like 13, then removed some. But this was really hard for most people. A lot of them had to look up right away, or after a few ideas. While my class is small, it should be a decent sample size to get relatively decent information. Slightly surprising that it was so hard for a lot of people. I guess not many of them spend their time thinking about these things, as they aren’t directly and instantly relevant in life. No wonder I don’t do well in school, I’m wasting all my time on other things! I wish.

Then we had to list them.

I had trouble choosing my top 3. Honesty? Accountability? Loyalty? Fairness? Adaptability? It was hard. All of them are important values, and I can’t really say which are harder to rank than others. Other people found it easy to have their top few, then the remaining list was hard to do. That’s different. They had their top value already in their head. Is it because they’re not thinking about the importance of the others? Am I over thinking their usage? Have they already gone through this phase of determining which value they value the most? I can’t tell.

It’s hard to make judgements based off this kind of data, since not everyone is sharing their stories. Maybe my situation is actually really common, and they are the uncommon, you can’t tell. Maybe there are additional results that I have missed. Also, people might just not be willing to share everything they have on their mind. They could be like me, thinking about it, then leaving class to try and decipher it.

Anyways.

It’s 2:07pm right now, and I have 207 in about 23 minutes. Coincidence? Probably. I still have that to go through today. I don’t think it will be anything to write about.

Instead lets go to this.

Because I know not many people will read the article, here’s the gist of it.

Some years ago this guy named Arthur Aron got 2 strangers to fall in love by having them ask each other increasingly personal questions. The idea is that by revealing more personal details, you are making yourself more vulnerable which facilitates closeness. Blahblah I’m not being scientifically accurate or precise, I don’t care! If you want to know more read it yourself, geez. And yes, other people did more studies on this too.

36 questions that will let you fall in love with someone.

I find it amusing that all it takes is 40 minutes, some looking into each others eyes, and some personal details.

Love, in this way, is shown to be about personal connection, or understanding. Maybe it’s even just the action of sharing very private uncommon things to creates this illusion of closeness (though at the same time it’s not an illusion because you actually did share it). Beyond making people fall in love, the experiment, when used as an exercise/game, could be a method to deepen friendships. Maybe you remove some of the questions from the list to have the intended effect, but it could work. Could also be speed-bonding (like speed dating, without getting to the dating part!) for teams, icebreakers and such.

Maybe could have even done it in 202.

Maybe I’ll send an e-mail about it.

But first, I want to try this myself.

No. Not fall in love, I’m not interested in that right now. But just deepening friendship. Trading personal ‘secrets’ (not really a secret if you reveal it near the end), ideas, and thoughts. Would be interesting.

Though I would wonder if both genders would work.

Would it be more effective for females talking to females than males talking to males? Or do mixed pairs perform better than uniform pairs. Would be interesting.

Though I’m certain some experimenter has already tried it out, I’m way too lazy to find/read/research any of it. First hand would be easier!

Anyone want to volunteer?

Another Day, Another Time

I just want to start off by saying that I really don’t like the new default WordPress admin page (the dashboard).

Just having to press that extra button to toggle back into ‘Classic View’, or whatever they call it, just bothers me.

Why can’t they just save this preference for me?

And why isn’t there a button to toggle back to the new one (there probably is one, but it’s not as easy to find…)? How else am I suppose to get these quotes correct?!

Continue reading

University of God Knows Where

Right now I’m in Taiwan, but I’m tired and haven’t sorted out some thoughts regarding anything. Though when did I ever start a blog with a plan?

But anyways.

Some old(er) news: I’ve been accepted into Beedie.

Honestly I don’t know what I would really do with myself if I didn’t get accepted. I had to rush and change my schedule for the Fall term in order to retake a course (misguided me didn’t even realize that if I didn’t retake something, my core GPA would not change). Then because I struggled with the embarrassment of having to retake a course (in hindsight not that much of a problem), I had just said I was taking 4 courses. I probably blew that cover when I was complaining about exams though. The fact that I had 3 exams in 28 hours and then 2 more later kind of revealed I had more than just 4 courses. I don’t think anyone gave a single shit. Which is probably normal, it’s just me that’s abnormal.

Anyways. I’m in, and I had to swap courses again in order to accept it (apparently they make all Beedie students take some weird team-working course). I’m not retaking anything this time, so I won’t be trying to be dumb with that information again, but instead I just have 6 courses.

I’m taking Business 207, which is essential Intermediate Microeconomics (Econ201), which I literally just finished, as the 6th course. I don’t get credits for this course, because Econ201 & Bus207 are related courses and requirements that need one can be replaced with the other course. Also because Econ201 gives more in the first place.

So why am I doing something so irrational and dumb?

Because of UBC.

UBC doesn’t consider Econ201 and Bus207 to be courses with transferable credits between them, so in order to apply for third year Sauder transfer, I’m going to have to face the terror that is a 6th course. I already have trouble getting accustomed to cramming 5 courses in under a week, where am I going to find enough Christmas miracles (WHEN IT’S NOT EVEN CHRISTMAS) to let me do 6? And it’s not even like some of these courses are unimportant (okay some of them are, but the unimportant ones are the GPA boosters…),  there’s no real hierarchy of courses like last term.

Why am I even transferring to UBC?

Who the fuck really knows.

Okay, I get it, I know.

And that’s true.

Kind of.

After one and a half years on the mountain, I still can’t say I really enjoy it up there.

Feels lonely, feels far, and feels isolated.

The first point is because I really haven’t tried to make too many new friends, or even good new friends. Nor did I join any clubs. Though I really don’t like how most clubs start at like 5pm on a day where I don’t have class after 3. Nor do I like how they’ll finish at like 7 and I’ll get home at 9. Then have to suffer through the badgering of questions from my parents (okay, just my mom) about this 9pm arrival and then start procrastinating on schoolwork.

Though that’s still a huge fucking excuse.

How? Reason 2.

How it’s far to transit to.

One and a half hours of transit isn’t too bad anymore (considering how I’m asleep for 80% of the trip). But that’s about 3 hours of my day just going to school. That is a huge waste of time. It’s really hard to wake up at 5:45 in the morning in order to make it for the sole one hour tutorial with participation marks that day. And before you ask, yes, I’ve had that. 3 hours of transit for a 50 minute TUTORIAL that is somehow worth 10% of my final mark based on whether I attempt some homework questions in class does not bode well for my motivation to succeed in that class, let alone the tutorial.

So transferring to UBC will reduce that time at all?

Nope.

Still one and a half hours there. Literally no change in transit times. It probably becomes harder to sleep on the bus while going to UBC instead of SFU because of the continuous bus transfers I would have to make in the first 30 minutes. Honestly, I’d probably miss classes because I would sleep pass one of my stops and waste time.

So complaint 3, isolation.

UBC sure as hell isn’t isolated. For starters, it’s not on a mountain.

There’s also non-students there. There are stores there. There’s even more than one fucking bus out of the damn place (to be fair SFU has like 4, though I only use 1).

Basically it’s connected to facilities that aren’t just school-related. And that is a heavy, heavy breathe of fresh air.

If you look at my 3 complaints, you’ll pretty much realize only the last one is a valid one.

#1 – I’m to blame really.

#2 – This isn’t even a relevant issue when comparing the two.

#3 – The mountain is terrible. Though Surrey campus is a significantly more vibrant location.

So why do I actually want to transfer? #3 isn’t even that large of a problem considering I probably am not going to go to some pub or window shop after class.

It’s probably because I’m just lazy. It’s much easier to work with people you already know than those you don’t. There’s already a large circle of friends at UBC, so there’s much less work needed there.

The other reason is probably because I feel like I have something to prove to myself. Being rejected twice isn’t a little bug bite that heals even if you don’t treat it. I already had some confidence issues at the start of Fall 2014 & my 3rd application to Beedie. Apparently I was able to surmount that. Part of me feels brainwashed into thinking SFU is a sub-par school compared to UBC, which keeps making me want to transfer. Then again, there’s also this miniscule part of me that wants to apply to Sauder, get accepted, than decline that shit for some minor ego boost.

I’m sure its known my ego isn’t high enough to do that in the first place.

Maybe I have some additional reasons to get into UBC (I do), but I don’t think they’re as important as these. Or I just don’t want to reveal them.

They’re my secret.

A commodity I rarely have nowadays.