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Welcome to 2016.

I didn’t say that in my last post, well actually I didn’t say anything in my last post, so I guess that is a moot point.

So… yeah.

Haven’t blogged in a while, but there’s not much to say there. Or at least, not much I want to say about it.

Every time I think about talking about my blog delays, I just get reminded of this xkcd comic.

Well, I thought this would be a good time for another one of those new years resolution blogs.

But I was going to make it different, by first checking up on my 2015 resolutions. So I went into my post history, and found the post I made on January 1st.

Oh.

Well then I’ll go to 2014’s resolutions!

Oh. There isn’t any.

2013?

Nope.

W E L L T H E N.

So I guess I’ll just retroactively create some new years resolutions.

  1. Business School (doesn’t matter where)
  2. Start to exercise more.
  3. Try to be more confident.
  4. Get a job.

I got the first one down. Two times, I’d like to say. first with Beedie, then at Sauder (a nice surprise).

I got the second one too. Since I am retroactively creating them, the wording ‘start’ makes it very easy for me to say ‘YES’.

The next one though, pretty hard. Not sure where that one went. Pretty sure it didn’t go anywhere beneficial. In fact, it might have gone worse over time. A new environment is supposed to be that ‘fresh start’ kind of feel, where you’re not trapped but existing routines and habits. But a fresh start comes with the obvious lack of familiarity with everything. I never thought about how much that mattered when I thought about new beginnings, but now I will.

Fitting into this school is weird. SFU was much smaller, both in terms of campus size, and student count. That leads to a more inclusive feeling – at least I think. UBC is just so large. Even within the same faculty there are radically different groups of people. And that’s before expanding to other faculties. I have never really interacted with those drama filled, party animal people before. Just listening to their stories sometimes can be overwhelming. If just feels so strange, and not what I’m familiar with.

I started Business Communications class thinking the professor was very interesting and outgoing. She reminded me a bit of Barb, my writing professor last term, who I liked a lot. But now, 3 weeks in, I’m starting to see the differences. Barb was more focused on encouraging learning throuwehat they prefer, while Elizabeth seems more focused on trying to get you to use her methods. Maybe that’s due to the difference in course purpose. Communications is about speaking, and there’s really only 1 way to learn how to speak better – speaking more. Writing, on the other hand, can be practiced many different ways.

Oh well. The end result is that I feel oddly out of place in a sea of ‘Sauder-esque’ (coined by Acky) students. Yesterday I was at a club meeting for a friends club, and I was very surprised about the difference in atmosphere. It felt like I was back in highschool, where people gave less of a shit. It took me many hours to realize the change, that I didn’t change with them. Maybe next time.

Also, I need a job. Internship, if you will. Something related to my field. But it’s hard to write cover letters with the tone and feel that business requires of you. I hate that tone, that feeling, that voice. It doesn’t feel genuine, and writing things I don’t enjoy is hard. I am a bit scared it will become like reading for me. It was enjoyable to do until I was forced to read things I didn’t want to. Really ruined the appeal of it.

I guess this will be my first real blog in some months, even though I’ve put off finishing this for a few weeks now. But I guess when you feel a bit isolated in a class that promotes inclusiveness, it leaves a poor taste in your mouth.

I also feel a lot worse knowing I lost a 90$ pen (albiet I bought it for 30$) that I haven’t even had for a month. Welp. Maybe I’ll replace it someday, but right now I feel too incompetent to do that.

 

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