Today’s a Thursday.

Last week Thursday, I promised myself I’d try to see if the person I saw was indeed Lily.

But before that, today I woke up late.

8:15 am.

I have class at 9:30 am.

‘That’s over an hour!’

It is.

But it isn’t enough.

One and a half hours of transit to get to school.

Fuck it. I’ll just end up skipping tutorial today. It was about Co-op anyways, I’ve already applied.

So I went and showered.

Still showered fast, because I still didn’t like being late/skipping.

Got dressed and walked out.

Isn’t your class at 9:30?

Yes

So I got a ride.

Still late. By 10 minutes. 5 of it came from me being unable to find the damn room. Which building doesn’t list where room numbers are, until it’s right beside you?

It was all about Co-op. I’m already ‘Seeking’ for Co-op. I got my e-mail this morning. Nothing of use to me.

Split into groups of 4-5! We split into a group of 3.

Brainstorm questions.

How do you apply?

I knew this one. I mean, I just handed in my intake package and did my assessment yesterday. I answered his question.

He kept asking me more questions. I’m not the presenter here! Oh well, they were all easy questions. And at least this way I get to know someone a bit more.

His name was Charles. Tutorial ended.

Hour break before Archeology, followed by Economics.

Didn’t eat anything in the morning, so I went to White Spot looking for some food.

Lunch isn’t started to be served until 11. It was 10:30 right now, and I was not going to wait 30 minutes. Late breakfast it is.

Archeology was more of the same. Neanderthals. Homo Florensensis (sp), and other anatomically similar hominids. Boring. Oh well, this gives me Breadth credits, I have to do it. And crucially, this time it won’t be like Linguistics was last term, where my mark was so bad I needed 90% to pass the course.

During Economics, I couldn’t help but think about if I needed this course or not. I don’t need it for Beedie requirements. I don’t need it for Economics Major requirements. I don’t need it for joint major (what is the difference between Joint & Double major anyways). It isn’t a prerequisite for any courses. It didn’t give me the Breadth subject I need. But it does give me 3 credits.

The 3 credits that would push my credit total above 60 to take 3rd year courses (that aren’t in my major).

Though that doesn’t matter because I have so many upper level Business courses I could take next term, that my credit total doesn’t even matter.

So why am I taking it? It doesn’t even transfer to UBC well!

Literally zero reason.

Still haven’t dropped it.

Going to talk to an adviser about it tomorrow. If there aren’t any benefits, I’m going to drop it.

It’s rare that I make these kind of decisions. I don’t particularly feel strongly about much when it comes to academics. Do I apply for UBC or stay at SFU? Do I do Business or just stay in Economics? What elective do I want to take? In the midst of these questions, ‘I am going to drop this course’ has a largely different feel to it. It feels strange to make a decision in my life. Something I don’t actually normally do. I just follow what I’m told. Do what I’m told. Behave how I’m told.

It’s like I have no personal emotions, ambitions or desires (I do, at least I think I do).

So I left class halfway.

Lets take a break for 5 minutes. That’s not enough time for coffee, ok?

Don’t worry professor, I’m not getting coffee.

Went to the Beedie advising office since they close later than Economics (3pm vs 2pm). They forgot about my position in the line, but I still got to see an adviser so I guess that’s okay.

Time?

2:54 pm.

Damn it.

I forgot.

I hurried (read: fast walked) towards the bus loop.

Maybe she’s late. Maybe the 135 didn’t come. Maybe she had a class and gets off now.

Nope.

Nothing.

I knew I wouldn’t get that chance again. I knew that a week ago.

You can give chances, but you can’t have them take it. They need to do it themselves.

That week, I was given a chance. A slight reminder of last spring’s chance.

A disappointing reminder that nothing has changed.

At least not here.

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