I left the hotel today later that the previous days.

Freedom. Finally.

We went to the ‘National Palace Museum’ today. Its the museum where they house a lot of the treasures/artifacts that the Republic of China (or whatever the Taiwanese government was called before) took from mainland China for they were ousted by the People’s Republic of China. Or so I’m told.

It was a pretty good move as the cultural revolution happened not so long afterwards with their mass burnings of paintings and literature.

Though its pretty weird (unpleasant even) that Taiwan proclaims the old pieces of their culture, neglecting the entire existence of mainland China (which still has artifacts that weren’t destroyed by the Revolution) from which most of the pieces were from. I guess its some small historical war between the countries, just like how Canada and the US differ on who ‘won’ the Seven Years War.

Its to be expected. Not much of a ‘National’ museum if you say its not even really from your nation. It just made my mom kind of annoyed.

I had thought of something to talk about today before leaving the National Palace Museum (which was pretty full…) but I don’t know what it was. It got lost in the tirade of female clothing stores, legitimate night markets, cheaply priced food (less than 2 dollar for a large piece of chicken? [this thing was legit huge]) and sore feet.

image

This thing is taller than a bottle of water...

Nothing new.

Instead lets talk about something else. The topic for day 1 is probably never going to be finished, as I literally have negative motivation to even start to think about it. Maybe because I have no appropriate pictures. And that I prefer happier things while I’m on vacation.

So let’s hit the romance topic again. Valentines is in under 2 months and I kind of want to do a post for it, but I don’t want to talk about the whole thing. Maybe I’ll just run some experiment that day and see how it worked out. Its probably going to fail.

Anyways. Relationships.

God, I’ve seen more couples in Taiwan than I have seen people here. Which is statistically impossible because the max amount of couples I could have saw is half of the total number of people I saw. X÷2 cannot be greater than X. But you know, hyperbole.

But seriously. The number of couples here (especially at the night market) was too damn high.

Also hit some jealous spot in me.

I mean my friends have been hitting that spot for probably 3 years now, so it shouldn’t be anything new. Though to be fair, a recent discover on WordPress via the list of blogs I’m attached to made that spot pretty sore.

Don’t ask about it. Its too much to even if think about. A good mix of pain, vanilla and cringe (which is probably the wrong word for this but fuck you I say what I want). But here’s this: fuck you, Bob.

Not literally of course. No homo.

But yeah.

Taiwan has really smashed that spot in pretty hard. Starting from before I even left, it hasn’t been too kind. Literally every single dinner out with my parents friends after the Taiwan trip was planned consisted of the question ‘Do you have a girlfriend?’ followed by ‘Why not?’ when I laugh and tell them no.

And it isn’t just a few dinners. Its been too many.

And it hurts.

God even 4 hours before my flight I was at a family friend dinner thing where I met up with a friend (acquaintance?) from the states. He’s making the dough right now after graduating last year. Something something starting salary 6 figures.

He also had a girlfriend. That he was apparently planning to marry in a year. They had the day arranged. Then that plan fell apart.

And of course after that nice story, I get that question again.

Oh my god, make it stop.

Even the tour guide kept asking me it. Like 4 times in total. Give me a break god damn it. He even joked about introducing me to one.

Please.

Stop.

And then seeing the highschool Taiwanese couples at the night market just made it worse.

Well, so far I’ve said nothing about my thoughts on this. To be fair though, its harder to pretend to you have thoughts than actually having them.

I mean, I guess there’s someone (or two) that I wouldn’t mind dating but… I’m not exactly standout material, nor do I have any confidence in trying it out. I’d much prefer the safety of a constant friendly relationship, instead of the uncertain madness that waits along that path.

image

I'd imagine this would be in the surrounding of a date.

Though I can’t really wait forever, can I.

And its fine to fail. I’ve failed a decent amount so far. You just have to learn from it.

Although I’m sure the only thing I would learn from rejection is that:
1. It hurts
2. Making that friendship awkward hurts more.
3. Never do that shit again.

Of course there’s that perfect ‘still friends’ scenario which I’d like to suggest that I’ve experienced. But that’s unlikely considering I don’t see them ever (or anyone really) and its unlikely to happen in this context (that I am NOT going to describe, thank you very much). I seriously need a new blog just to speak things I can’t say here. Geezus. Who would have thought one would need another blog because there are things you can’t write on the other.

There’s not a way to find out what blogs a person is a part on WordPress, right? Please be yes.

But I digress. This whole relationship thing, even if they do give it a shot, is a lot note stressful than school work. The whole not same school thing as well as the not same social activities thing probably write it off as ‘doomed’.

And the least thing I want is some heartbreak during another term where I’d prefer to have a decent academic showing. Though to be fair, I don’t think there’s I term I don’t want that.

But like I’ve said already, you can’t escape this shit forever (well technically you can, at least in the current lifetime) so I’ll have to do this eventually.

More heartbreak and petty arguments is exactly what I’ve always wanted in life.

So maybe I’ll give it a shot sooner rather than later.

Though I still value this friendship a lot more than some experience.

Doesn’t mean I won’t try some random stuff. Hopefully I get a chance when I get back. Though, I think that chance closed itself yesterday… Oh well.

Maybe I do have a V. Day post prepared.

Advertisements