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Haven’t posted anything in a while. So cheers to that. And to a self-taken picture post.

I should really start on that photoblog.

I am kind of getting back into a full on school schedule. I’m still working on it, even though it is about halfway through the term. Not exactly an ideal pace, but it could always be worse. No point worrying about it now.

I think some of my confidence in exams is being restored. After last years trashing, I didn’t really know what to think anymore.

Fall 2013 came in hard when I did poorly on my first series of mid-terms. I did place above average in most of them, but I’m not facing Leo’s of each respective topic, there’s no reason why having +2/3% above the average mark can be considered good. The worst part about last Fall were the finals. I’m pretty certain I choked really hard during every single one. Both Economic courses had plenty of indecisiveness and a lack of confidence in my answers. Math – I didn’t know anything, surprising considering most of the content (if not all) was covered before in IB. And Philosophy rounds out my pains with my inability to sustain my memory during an exam.

The next term was slightly better. Spring 2014’s mid-terms all went okay. Besides Observational Behaviour crushing my confidence with it’s high average (80%~), I felt I did decent to well on the rest (besides the first Psychology mid-term where I thought I only had to write 1 essay). The final was the most disappointing thing this term. Finals rained down (not even consecutively) and each of my marks seemed to fall much further than my imagined worse-case-scenario. I don’t even know how I managed to disappoint in both Psychology and Financial Accounting, considering that my pre-final mark was rather high.

I didn’t come into the summer term with high hopes. I had the goal, and requirement of hitting an A- on the single course I was taking. I stumbled on the midterm, managing 1 question from my goal. No worries though, was what I thought. I had to group project that was going very smoothly (and had great results!) and it was my sole Final. Of course, my final was a disaster. From a B+/A- all the way down to B-. That is at least 2 letter grades down. My hopes were much further down than just 2 standings though.

All I had wanted to do this term was be able to be consistent. I wasn’t pushing for any A’s (it’s unlikely I’ll get any this term anyways), but just for my final mark to be similar to my pre-final mark. I haven’t gotten anywhere close to accomplishing that, as it’s not even round 2 of mid-terms yet, but after getting some results from the courses I was worried about, I felt much better overall.

Though I really still do think my studying habits are pretty terrible.

Secondary school was still a more engaging place for me, in terms of retaining my knowledge. The weekly assignments and questions (though for the most part were gone in IB) forced me to keep up with readings, material and understanding. In university, it became more free roam. Seldom is there restraint of weekly questions that are graded. My time gets spent on other things. Sleeping, reading, learning about games, and then playing the games. My schedule would fail a check for consistent study time.

 

I’ve also seemed to find that my desire to blog has decreased more and more. It’s not that I have less things to say – to be honest I feel that I have more things to say than before – but maybe just a lack of need for a place to say them.

My blog has been, for most of the time, a place where I just relieve stress and complain about little to large things in my life. Maybe sometimes others’ life as well, but in general it has been a place to say things I could never find a way to say otherwise. I don’t think I’m much more open to conversation (definitely a little bit!) but I think it is mainly that I felt less of a need to say it. I’m okay with a lot more things now. From exam stress to unfortunate timing of events, to even personal negative discovery; they don’t bother me as much now (however I am bothered still by my lack of understanding on how to use a semi-colon and effect vs affect in actual situations – this one included). Reality has been a lot less painful, and a lot more enjoyable when some little things (and large things) stop bothering me as much. I’ve found less reason to dislike 5:45am wake ups, and Beedie’s terrible grading curve. More reason to enjoy the things that I do, and less reason to be bothered about the things I didn’t like to do.

Maybe this is what Dr. Gabbott and IB has taught me (besides the conditioned hate for the word ‘usage’). From the (notable smaller compared to others) large success to the large failures in those two years, I’ve found more reason to ‘keep on truckin’ than there was to give up. Every social life advice will always say something similar to that, and for good reason. There really isn’t anything that you can’t get over. Keep in mind that ‘you’ does not refer to physically only yourself! ‘You’ are also part of many other people, and they (usually!) be willing to help. However, that advice is also always ignored. When you’re in the dumps, it’s pretty hard (almost impossible) to see any way out, or that anything could be better. It’s also hard to just not give up and let it all wash away. Even if it takes a month, multiple months, or even multiple years, a way out of despair will eventually be found, but you can’t find it if you don’t look.

Man, I didn’t start this blog with any intentions other than just to review to myself how things have been going. I made it sound much better than it actually is (linguistics is hard), and Fall 2014 isn’t even over yet! I still have the harder half of the term to go before I can say that anything has conclusively changed.

Well one thing has changed. I’m having a little bit more fun than before.

Cheers.

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