The first day of the new term has finally rolled around.

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I have some night owl schedule even though I’ve been trying to stray away from that path.

I guess some things just aren’t meant to be. But that’s a quite negative approach, no success ever came without a failure.

Most of the schedule was really my fault – honest.

People with low GPA’s, low amount of credits and low entrance scores come later.

I didn’t have a GPA yet, I didn’t get any credits from IB and I failed the original IB entrance requirements.

Mistakes in the past continue to affect the future even when you feel like it shouldn’t.

Course selection wasn’t the only thing that had been altered by my past failures.

A lack of communication to new and old friends is a result of my failure as well.

Rarely will I see old friends from seconday school. At SFU, I think there may be a total of 10 people maximum that I knew before coming here. Now with my strange schedule, I have really little time to see them at school – my main form of physical communication with friends.

I had been satisfied with the level of communication I had with friends with school alone.

3 terms a year. 5 days a week, 7 hours a day.

Constant sights of friends, peers, crushes and role models.

It felt great. It was a frequent occurrence to say ‘Hi’ to people in the hallways. All this interaction with barely much additional work required as going to school was already something I had to do – regardless of friends.

Graduation left a melancholic feeling in the air.

Separation due to choices of careers and difference in ability.

I was drafted to a place with relatively few others.

No old friends.

My constant urge to reunite had me focused on school during school time and social interaction via the internet during downtimes.

Where did I find time to make and develop new friendships?

That’s right – I didn’t find any.

I still didn’t manage any brilliant results in term 1 either.

Now here I am, using an expensive ASUS computer at 2 am in the morning thinking about things that could have, should have but didn’t turn out better.

I have all these resources: computer, family, money, housing, friends, teachers, school and more.

But I don’t have anything.

A real shame.

Not the my shame, but my parent’s shame in their investment – seeming to be failing.

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