Got off school today at 3:20.

That was new.

I had thought that Tuesday’s I should get off at 2:20, but I learned today that I’ve been going to class 1 hour earlier and ended up in the wrong econ tutorial. Sat in two econ 105 tutorials instead of 103. In my defense, I realized I wasn’t in the right tutorial in the first 5 minutes of class. Except that the first 5 minutes of class happened during the second class because the TA was not present for the first day…

But it was the wrong course! How could you have not realized you don’t have that course?

Oh but I do take 105. I take both. It was also my first day for econ tutorials, and I genuinely did not know which course it was for. So when others started talking about the 105 class, I assumed I had the 105 tutorial and was NOT early by an hour.

But I digress, I didn’t want to talk about my inexperience with tutorials, but my experience on the ride home.

While sitting alone on the skytrain, 3 people boarded at one of the stops. It was hard to miss them, as their conversation was quite loud.

Two men and a woman, presumably going home after a day of work, talking about homemade… wait for it… jam.

Nothing strange, just another example of social culture.

It was semi-crowded on the skytrain, so the group was squeezed near other people. Namely me.

While having their discussion, the lady turned away from the remnants of the 3 man group and ended up facing me. She continued to talk to the two people behind her with her back. Every once and a while I thought I saw her look frustrated and annoyed. As if she could not take the conversation anymore.

After a few occasions, I begin to wonder if she is actually annoyed with the continued conversation. I was questioning if I could even read the expressions and feelings of people anymore. It was just a feeling of confusion.

And also of uselessness. If I can’t even identify obvious facial expressions with emotions, then what kind of social being am I. I’ve wanted to become this sociable person for so long, but if I can’t even determine if I have the ability to read expressions, then I would be no better than Gavin.

Enough time had passed while I was occupied with my thoughts, that their conversation was coming to a close.

I’m going to get off here. I need to get some stuff here.

That is what she said. It really felt that she was trying to escape. By her phrasing, she implies that she doesn’t normally get off here, and that they don’t either.

As she left though, the two men quietly picked up their bags and walked out too.

As the skytrain started up to leave, the lady’s happy expression turned sour, realizing her companions had tagged along for some shopping as well.

My idea had been right, she wasn’t exactly enjoying the conversation.

Do other people not recognize these things? Or are they like me, unsure and decided to go with the flow.

I’ll probably never know.

But only dead fish go with the flow.

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