Today, I’ve finished my Extended Essay (some IB thing that requires you to do research and write a 4000 word essay). Even though tomorrow is when I hand this sucker in, I’m all happy and glad today.

Today was more than just ‘HELL YES DONE EE’ day, it was also an Artona day.

This not being my first shot, was much less stressful and more relaxing.

But it was also quite important.

Certain people attended.

Ones that are important.

Were important.

Possibly remain important.

But him.

Did he really say that?

‘What does it matter? You’ll forget me in 5 months anyways.’

I just did not know how to respond.

Not because I was unable to, quite the contrary actually. I knew exactly what to say, but the paralysis was not over yet.

I wanted to scream.

Grab this piece of blasted plastic, and smash it against my newly placed bookshelves.

Did he really not know? Does he really not understand a single bit about me? After these 4 fucking years, he still doesn’t understand this one basic principle?

I just didn’t know what to do.

I typed.

Or I tried.

I eventually just hung up. No more. No more. No more.

This one picture, was to me, some kind of repair kit. But hey, gotta find joy in everything, don’t you?

Well, this time it was enjoyable. An stressful beginning, and an embarrassing end. Really now, why me? Damn you all! Why me?!

It’s not that I mind. I actually was going to do that, if no one said anything. One more example that illuminates my failure as an ‘All-Star’. If I can still call myself one, after all.

But as one ordeal passes, I stop and think.

I wonder ‘was IB worth it?’.

Many times have I said if I had a chance to redo it all, I would have taken certificate, or not accepted at all. It just seemed so much easier.

But the easy life, isn’t the good life.

But still, I wonder.

What else could I have done, could have learned, could have explored and experienced if I didn’t take IB?

Would I be doing fine arts? Photography? Applied sciences?

I might even have done law.

Would I have joined dragon boating? Met new and old friends? Have Artona pictures with many great people?

It is something that always lingers in my mind as I proceed through my epic.

But I know it best.

In the end, the final result isn’t what makes me who I am. It’s the decisions and choices I’ve made, that makes me who I am.

So whether it’s to lose it all, or gain it all.

Lets roll the dice.

March onwards to the next save.

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