Who am I?

I don’t know.

Well, I do.

But not why.

Welcome to the internet, where I think I become… myself. Or at least someone I want to be.

The sense of anonymity, lack of judging eyes, and perceiving looks.

Without the weight of physical boundaries, or embarrassment.

I rather enjoy being that person.

The person that doesn’t get hindered by self-consciousness.

But I can’t.

Not always, at least.

I can’t do that around strangers.

Kinda friends.

Teachers, parents, friends, acquaintances, cousins.

I can’t.

My LSI, NSL, and WSI teachers all tell me that I need to change in order to work.

But they also tell me that I can’t change instantly.

But they haven’t talked to me through these digital fibres.

But I am changing.

Slowly, if at all.

Am I forcing myself to change?

Free choice, free will, all me?

Or was I suppose to become like this?

Through growth and development, the final stage – the one I had sought.

If that’s so, then what am I?

A step for the next process to begin?

What does that make me?

Are my current thoughts important?

Are they even relevant?

Am I on the right path?

Would… they be proud?

But… is that who I am?

Someone in the process of change?

Will the current me, the one that’s scared, be forever gone?

That’s a frightening thought.

Although I hate myself, I have only lived as myself.

To be someone else… or me not as I know myself… is scary.

Even if i dislike myself, I rather be myself, than someone else.