If you can’t tell (which you probably can’t), the above two people are playing that game where you hold hands, and then slap the other person’s hand. Winner is the one that stays the longest.

Beau (the guy) does weak slaps.

He wins by the other person quitting.

Jack said he slaps hard. Jose (I think it was him) tested that out.

He lost in 2.

So I was like, I’ll survive for 3 and bother Jose about it all day.

Then I won in 3.

Surprise.

Regretful.

But eventful.

And fruitful.

Still regretful.

But regret is what makes you want to try harder next time, right? If there is a next time. *sigh*

Wake up at sometime, somehow obtain the idea it’s 6:45am, and continue to sleep. Then proceed to wake up at freaking 8 and be like ‘OHGODGOTTAMOVE’. Eat breakfast, get dressed in the NSLC t-shirt and get the hell out.

Then we had our session/work out for the day.

The Service Experience.

I walked into the Multi-purpose room (MPR) thinking it was going to be like Community Service, where we help around campus to thank them for allowing them to use their facilities.

Surprise, surprise. Mr. Pruitt is there  with 2 questions on the board.

Who am I at this moment?

What can I offer?

I sat and pondered the first question, completely disregarding the second.

While I thought, the rest of the class was going through the typical NSLC ‘show&tell’, where you go up, by choice, to answer the questions.

Then it was the typical ‘anyone who talked themselves out’. Damn, there were a lot.

Pruitt got really mad at them. For it was the 5th, and second last day, as well as the last real full day of the program, and they still couldn’t take a risk.

I didn’t stand up for anything for this activity, let’s just be clear.

I answered the first question.

I am

Nervous

Strange

Different.

The nervous feeling of uncertainty

Looming from a strange sensation

of difference.

Nervous, but comfortable.

Strange, although normal.

Different, yet same.

I feel

Open.

Generally I felt as if NSLC’s 5/6 day camp succeeded in doing what Zach from WSI could not. Or, maybe it was a progressive effort, in where I finally broke here. I don’t know. No longer was I in a perfect shell, but now a cracked one with more and more gaps.

The second question was the harder one.

What do I have to offer?

I sat until the second part of the 7 hour service activity to answer that.

All I have to offer is…

Myself.

The rest of the Service Experience consisted of us 71 kids being driven 40-50 minutes away to some rural area to help out with farmish work in 40C temperature. Pulling weeds, painting fences, composing wood, clearing brush and picking up berries.

Interesting.

A lot of bugs.

‘Off!’, the bug repellent, failed to do anything. That’s why I brought Afterbite. : )

Worked until 4pm.

Lunch was Jason’s Deli, again.

Interesting.

But interesting is not a feeling, sorry Mr.P. I meant, mysterious.

After that ordeal I was pretty tired from work and the heat.

I slept at least 20 minutes on the bus.

I was woken up Obai & TA to be told to answer 4 questions.

  1. What am I experiencing in this moment is…
  2. Something I love to do is…
  3. A specific way I can use this gift to serve others is… (references Q2)
  4. What is next for me is…

I answered 1. with the same answer I answered the first Service Experience question.

2 was ‘writing, drawing, photography, learning, playing, music & more’.

3 was BS. I can help write/draw/photograph/teach for/to people. I can also entertain people.

Ha.

Ha.

Ha.

4 was to become this ‘open’ me immediately in other places other than NSLC.

Risk taking would have been good to put there too.

We came back, and my TA group really, really wanted dinner.

We went to the STAMP (student union building, no clue why it is called the STAMP). Only McD’s was open, since the rest of the stores close at 5pm on weekdays. –shrug-

Bought food, everything in the States is cheaper. I bought something what I thought would be over 10$, but it was below 8$.

WEIRD.

I also noticed, that by befriending Obai, I sort of got isolated by the rest of the TA group. We’re the ‘outcasts’. Then again, it’s by choice that I didn’t spend my time with them. I’m not as outgoing/risk taking/whatever as them. Similarities attract, whether science approves or not.

We had our leadership session, The Next Experience. Mr.P talked ways we could take the things we learned from this camp in our lives back home. The 4th question was an important one. For the girl, Robin, who fences, he suggested she talk to schools about fencing, and demonstrate to them to encourage more fencers (which is kinda her goal). Another girl, (name I forget Q_Q I SORRY) wanted to encourage more band students. She already had an idea in mind, and Mr.P made it more realistic (she wanted to teach kids basic Clarinet stuff for free/donation). Bryan (first day Bryan), wanted to make a club at his school about leadership. Essentially, NSLC Mastering Leadership in club form. Another guy, a Taekwando guy, (name forget Q_Q I SORRY AGAIN) wanted to teach kids Taekwando. Somehow Mr.P related Taekwando with decisions, like a roundhouse kick as an instantaneous decision, and to have him use Taekwando as a metaphor for decisions, and make short 1-2 minute videos about it. Mr.P is amazing. I’m hoping to think of something at their scale of improvement, and hopefully find/get/obtain his email and talk to him. If possible, that is.

Then it was TA Activity: My Impact.

Compliment Shower.

One person (by choice), goes up and receives compliments from people (who do it by choice).

I really only said things for Alex, James, and Amanda. The others either I didn’t know well, didn’t get a chance (because time constraints due to D.C traffic) or being quiet.

I plan to fix that.

Names: Abby, Ashley, Amanda, Andrea, Maddy, Maya, Olivia, Cara, James, Jack, Alex, Obai, Jose (sp?), Lucas.

And maybe Tony.

It was awkward. I didn’t want to get up.

I hate compliments.

It makes me self-conscious.

Which I hate, possibly even F.E.A.R. (False, Expectations, Appearing, to be, Real)

Alex did the awkward stare/glance/headnod/whisper to try to make me go up.

People noticed.

That sucked.

Someone pulled the attention away by getting up.

But that doesn’t make them forget.

I didn’t stand up, and someone (I don’t know who, I SORRY Q_Q) asked if they could say something to me even if I was not up.

That made me feel… special. Or should I use Unique, Tony? It was different, strange, nerve racking and kind of pleasant.

Then someone else said it, and another and another. Tony just said ‘Ask Kevin.’

Eyes.

Pressure.

Expectance.

I just went up to take it.

*sigh*

I don’t remember everyone who said things, but I remember Jack, Alex, Obai, Tony and Maddy said things.

Some about the Ropes Course, facing fears.

Somehow tied to bring the group closer. I don’t understand how, but (I hope) maybe I’m just being biased and blind to my own actions and impacts.

I forget what Maddy said. Which slightly disappoints me.

It was awkward as I sat down.

Quite.

We had a 2 hour dance.

I spent most of it dancing awkwardly with TA group and other NSLC mast. kids. There were like 300 other NSLC kids. Mastering Leadership is the smallest group. Medicine, Forensics and Engineering each have like 100 + kids.

I spend a decent potion of the time doing the ‘searching for somebody’, in which you literally scan the room to look for somebody.

I got the taste of a real ‘party’ (the IB one at Squeah doesn’t count). It’s hard as hell to find someone. :c

I was possibly going to try Nitor’s advice, be wild and try something, because you don’t see any of these people ever again (or highly unlikely), especially me, since I’m a Canadian. But damn man, I’m still too used to the slow, steady and safe. But I will confess, Mad(eline)dy is really, really cute. I still don’t have a photo. For everyone else, I probably do, but for her, no. It’s the feeling where when you take a picture of anyone else, you think it’s fine and normal, but when you try to take a picture of them it’s like ‘Oh-Em-Gee’ and you think of all the things that people would assume.

The dance was… interesting. Obai and I took our own risk near the very end. Dancing together in the circle. AWKWARD. Unlike the IB one, or the spontaneous ones we had previously, I tried to dance, but still awkward as hell. :<

At least, for me.

Maddy joined the NSLC mast. group after a long time, near the end.

At the beginning my impression of her was just like me. Quiet, reserved, etc. But throughout the thing she really opened up, pretty inspiring for me to watch, as someone who hasn’t really opened up.

And there she was, dancing wildly.

Attractive.

Well, there’s my summer crush for 2012. It came early, lasted a short time. Probably beneficial.

4th annual summer crush over.

Dance ended.

We had our TA meeting canceled (it wasn’t on the schedule in the first place), so -1 possible chance to see/talk to her. Then it was the ‘after party’ at the lounge. I learned how to play Egyptian Redsomething (I don’t remember the name). It’s like Slap Jack, only with more rules, and sandwich slaps. Pretty dang hard yo. But I’m proud to say I learned this game purely by watching 1 game for 5-10 minutes. : )

My TA group was making a card for Tony (our TA), and we were all to sign. My ‘plan’ was to go sign and say something to Maddy, but Fie, Fie! like Shakespeare would say, and things moved on.

Then I just spent the rest of the time really just playing the new game I learned. It’s fun. Johnathan is really good at it, and one of the girls I met the first day has amazing reflexes. I just don’t get it.

We were overtime, and the TAs came in and kicked us all out.

Then it was shower, get water, and then type this.

Then hope I can take a kinda huge ‘risk’ and fulfill a risk I was suppose to fulfill, a few hours ago.

Tomorrow’s the last day.

According to the schedule there is a TA activity, I hope to correct my mistake there.

I spent a good 10 minutes in the shower remember people, and attaching faces to names.

Hard for me, I didn’t really know Ashley, Abby, Maya, or Cara at all. At least the others I knew a little bit.

Or maybe I’m just being ignorant.

I hope it’s….

I don’t hope for either.

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