That’s what Allen called me. Sometime pain and joy can mix in quite well.

By Allen, I mean my NLS instructor.

It was the end of the course, meaning the time for goodbyes. Well, not just yet, but almost there.

It was time for the personal feedback.

“You give the first impression of an introvert, which is not the best thing to give off. Though secretly you are not even close to it. You’ll want to get rid of that impression…”

The rest does not matter as much, nor relate as much to anything else.

The fact that he noticed such a thing, made me smile.

One part was because someone actually bothered to care, while the other part is was that I had never come to such a conclusion. I had always thought I was a born introvert that had enough with being one. Changing isn’t exactly that grand an idea, the transfer stage is pretty horrible. But instead, he saw it as that I was already one, one with the mask of an introvert.

It really made my day, I spent the remaining hours of that day, trying to fulfill that idea. Self fulfilled prophecy, sure, but does it really matter?

“You should aim to be like Aaron. Aim halfway to where he is, he is a bit over the top, so half way is pretty good.”

Aaron, is a classmate. One year older, taller, athletic build, and Caucasian. The one that isn’t very bright, but doesn’t need to be because he’s very outspoken, positive and social. Many traits that I wish I had, and most likely need to start developing them. I couldn’t figure out whether to be slightly hurt, or to be a bit happy about such a comparison.

For one, being compared to him is something to note, for myself of course. You usually compare things that are similar, which implies that somehow, the shy and submissive me is somehow similar to him. On the other hand, I’ve come to hate comparisons, so just the idea of it wasn’t very pleasing. I felt a mix of both, one should say. Math doesn’t apply much to emotion, since the positive and the negative feelings didn’t cancel each other out and leave me neutral, but left me in the weird impossible way of being both negative and positive. That’s taking the negative/positive infinity concept to something beyond my understanding. Probably also beings in quantum mechanics or whatnot, but what do I know? I’m not that knowledge in either area.

On another note, Hanako is done. Expect me posting more Katawa Shoujo content again, and once again… with spoilers.

The game’s quite nice, making me relate to all the characters at once. Also makes me feel like a super complicated and problem-full person, haha.