Where…where is the meaning to all this?!

I’m completely fed up, and refuse to move along the horrid path; it leads into the graveyard.

Fuck this.

I feel like life is just plotting against me.

Sure, my parents don’t expect things out of me like you (anymore, that is).

Sure, my parents don’t restrict my computer usage like you.

Sure, I still live with my parents.

But, you don’t know this feeling.

To be the one that doesn’t scream, yell, or show anger in any form.

The one that has to uphold the image of ‘respect’.

Never talking back, always having to smile.

Never to cry, never to express oneself.

It’s like those poor lobsters that you see on sale.

Their mouths closed, shut. Unable to open because of the rubber band. The lock placed on by the superior ones.

I hate this feeling. I just want to quit.

Quit violin.

Quit school; IB.

Quit life.

I don’t want to walk down this road anymore, I’m getting tired and need a break.

Pray that I find a bench soon; my feet are tired and need to rest.

I can’t do french. Ziakos doubts my ability to actually pass. That hurts.

The violin teacher doesn’t care anymore, I’m a failure of a student.

My drawing teacher thinks I’m just someone to earn money off of. How intimate.

My math teacher doesn’t realize I exist.

My courses never seem to match up. First, no orchestra.

Then, no electronics.

Now, no accounting.

No placement in career prep. because my teacher never actually gave a thought about a confirmation.

Getting scowled by my mom for saying something I don’t even remember.

Getting the ‘YOU DON’T DO SHIT’ treatment; I obviously don’t help you with your homework, or ever again.

I hate this.

What’s the point?

It’s not the risks I take, but the choices…?

So what choice did I take that makes me so deserving to get an uncaring teacher.

What choice did I make to be unable to understand French?

What choice did I make to be the one born in Canada.

What choice did I have?